JOHN SAID MY BIRTHDAY PARTY WAS “awesome, dude”
EVEN THOUGH HE THOUGHT THE $84 IN SMALL CHANGE WAS WEIRD? I DON’T KNOW WHY, I THOUGHT THAT WAS LIKE A HUMAN TRADITION.
MAYBE SOMEONE GAVE ME BAD ADVICE.
miraclemodus asked: if you have time, ask rose to teach you the basics of knitting. a hand-crafted sweater is always a thoughtful gesture.
kaossparrow asked: Give him a dress! Also, give you a dress. Make everyone wear dresses. But his should be the sparkliest.
YOU MEAN, LIKE, AS A “PRANK”?
THAT’S ACTUALLY NOT A TERRIBLE IDEA, I BET HE’D SHIT HIMSELF WITH JOY TO SEE ME ATTEMPTING TO UP MY “PRANKSTER’S GAMBIT” OR WHATEVER THE FUCK.
ATTENTION HUMAN INTERNET-DWELLERS
I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHY I’M ASKING YOU THIS
BECAUSE I’M AN AMAZING PLANNER AND I’M NOT SCARED OF FUCKING UP OR ANYTHING
BUT AS YOU MAY BE AWARE, JOHN’S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP SOON, AND I WANT TO DO SOMETHING AWESOME FOR HIM AS LIKE AN APOLOGY FOR HOW I RUINED HIS SURPRISE PARTY FOR ME LAST JUNE BY RUNNING AWAY TO CRY BY MYSELF LIKE A PATHETIC WIGGLER?
I MEAN FUCK
NEVERMIND THAT LAST BIT, THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT, THE IMPORTANT PART IS I THOUGHT MAYBE SOMEWHERE IN THE COLLECTIVE MIRE OF YOUR THINKPANS THERE MIGHT BE A GLIMMER OF A GOOD IDEA OR TWO TO MAKE MY ALREADY AMAZING PLANS EVEN MORE AMAZING.
COMING FROM YOU THAT HAS TO BE AN INSULT BUT THIS HAT IS LEGITIMATELY AWESOME SO YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN SUCK IT.
